As we sat on that sofa, she held my hand, and squeezed it. I grinned, and looked over to see her holding his hand as well. Photos were being taken.
My year started with a wedding. Weddings - that cliched event some hate, and some reaaaally love. But love or hate, there is no escape (from about 12857593 a year). It stares you in the face, tickles you in the ribs, beckons knowingly, waves come hither welcomingly.
But the best kind of weddings, are those in which you - as an individual, as someone related to those getting married - feel connected to. Those weddings, from which you come home exhausted, from dancing, from smiling, from laughing, singing and meeting people, from having so much joy in your heart that you don't know what else to do, from watching people you love take those vows to be with each other, and I think it's time I use a period or two.
And this year alone, I've had three or four (or seven) of such weddings. (Much deserved post this is)
There was G, an older sister figure, a motivator, a listening ear, a laugh inducer, amazingly talented actress (she'll deny it - but she's a great impromptu) and with all of that, the best, tight, big hugs giver. At her wedding, we put up an actual, choreographed dance with practice of a few days, and we had a grand, grand time.
At her wedding I learnt that the bride or groom - on some of the most special days of their lives, can make others feel special. It is because of how she looked out for us on her special day that I smile whilst writing this. And obviously because we had such, such fun :P
At her wedding I saw how some things should be left to simplicity, and how some effort in other areas will leave a lasting impression.
At her wedding I saw from where I sat, her a vision in red, looking as lovely as can be, (although she was worried about the makeup) and I saw how heads turned and tears formed.
At her wedding I beamed as they walked the Laavan, looking around to see that all of our hearts were so full, of joy and pride.
At her wedding on new year's day we were at her house, laughing and looking at her - I remember saying - being so in her element. (She had the power of vatna)
And just yesterday, I am reminded that in one week, it will be a year since she got married.
Then there's J, oh my J.
A July wedding. Heart shaped saree blouses. A petite (read,tiny) girl whom I've known forever, grown up with, made up nonsense phrases with, had first-child-in-depth conversations with.
Eve of the wedding. We stand in panic while realizing that the florist has shut for the night. WE are in charge of flower girl and bridesmaid arrangements. Disaster averted, flowers acquired, we adjourn for the ultimate slumber party - minus the bride, of course. At the rehearsal we sit in the cathedral, and watch in disbelief as she is up front and center. I sit between the two other culprits in our gang and warn them to not start crying (yet). We joke about bringing extra tissues the next day to pass around.
The day of the wedding arrives and, the flowers turn out gorgeous (all you,S), our sarees turn out ok (despite being draped not to perfection) and manage to avert any bride meltdowns. All it takes is for us to look at her, and she knows, she knows we are there.
Being a bridesmaid (officially) - was an experience like no other. She put is in the middle of everything, and we felt - officially - as if we were family. To E (the husband), thank you for the spa treatments!
Fast forward to the reception, and dancing the night away, crazy dancing. Go back to the food tasting, and tasting some delicious, delicious paneer. Go forward to the day of the wedding and step into the house, and see my best friend, in her wedding saree. She gets her veil put on, and we pose for photographs. Go back to months before when we get the call and she shows us the ring. Go forward to receiving the bridesmaid sarees. Go to flowers selection trips, and having adventures with seemingly inane tasks! Go forward to the bridesmaids meeting up to shop and go to the tailor, planning the bachelorette, and having - a slumber party and another adventure.
Allow me to be mushy, now - and say that guys, love ya.
Edit: They are now having a baby. Yes, we are officially aunts in a few months, and that is going to take me a whole (long) blog to express.
And now, for the most recent special wedding. This girl, who has become an important, important person in my life. Sleep over, she says. I obediently do as she says, and have a ball. M, and the pink suits. I looked through the photos we had taken two years ago the other day, and a smile comes on thinking of the madness that had ensued. 4 girls in London, 4 girls from samelan, 4 girls in a bond like no other. The hen party, a welcome break from the wedding-y details and work for her, and a smashing time for us.
She calls me, a week or so before the wedding, to vent. She shows me the results of her make up trials. She tells me of the many, many suits getting stitched, the many trials that come with it, and more importantly, she tells me of what she feels.
We sleep over, and help pack the suits and other things up - wrapping paper and plastic envelopes, and clothing items and boxes all strewn across the floor. It feels like a wedding is coming - and we soak it all up. Three days before the wedding, we arrive - people are fixing tent details, vacuuming carpets, serving up food, and such. We get roped into packing up ladoos, then getting other details sorted. Sleep evades me, for some reason. I hear G coughing, M tossing and then finally settling, and before we knew it, the morning of the first ceremony arrived.
Whilst the aunties (and penjis! They are married and everything!) were busy vatna-fying her, we sneaked away to get some technical stuff done. She had requested for background music for the house, and I had forgotten an important track. We get back in time for the scrubbing session - all faltu girls to use up leftover vatna. I get a big hug, and my clothes and hair get a big dose of vatna.
The next bit is pretty hilarious, it is the mithey chaul thing - and she hates mithey chaul. Hahah!! The things you do :P
And then, her mehndi is being applied, lovingly. Someone or other is always there, sitting by her, chatting, whilst the others lounge, break into random song and dance, head out to run errands, and more family arrives. I am so incredibly sleepy by then but nothing that won't be cured with some excitement.
We get our mehndi on, and as the gang arrives start making plans for the night. Her room is a jumble of people, girls and bags and make up and hair straighteners and laptops and make up artists. Eventually everyone is ready - we acquire batik shirt and sarong for the jago event, and we are ready to rock and roll. I have to admit, (don't laugh at me, okay) as we were sitting in the living room and the ladies-songs-with-dholki was happening, I looked over and said ; this is actually pretty fun. Also, having the event at home is a whole different experience. There aren't 20 million people around, and as everyone pretty much knows each other the whole atmosphere is warm, fun and ...close and inviting.
Needless to say, proper dancing happened - we have all the sweaty photos to speak for us, too. That night, we help her with her mehndi, and hair wash, and stay up talking. I don't think we were thinking it that time, but it was the last night we would be sleeping together before she got married.
Friday we are instructed to stay while she goes to get her nails done, and are told to sleep in. We spend the morning chilling with her aunts, and getting small projects done, ready for Saturday. Some errands run, some rest, some anticipation, and suddenly it is Saturday.
Suddenly, she is walking in - Harinder is singing Adays Tisai Adays, the moment is so, so beautiful, and suddenly, the Laavan is over. Suddenly, she is at the house, giving me a smile and we are catching a moment - realising we haven't spoken all day. And suddenly, she is giving us all hugs - before getting into the car.
We get back into the house, a strange feeling - but we proceed to get cold drinks out and sit and have a picnic of sorts.
In all the weddings I have shared with you, there was something so, very special. I don't think I've captured it too well, seeing as I've written longer with the more recent ones, but in every wedding, the bride has a special, special place in my life. In each wedding, there are so many details that I am sure I have missed, but know that, all are in my memories.
And yes, though I may have only written about these, there have been several other weddings this year that were special, each unique and lovely in its own way, each with people dear and special to me.
Love you, guys.
